Quotes

Wherever you go, there you are.

— Mac on JAG

You can’t think and hit at the same time.

— Yogi Berra

Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.

— Pablo Picasso

It isn’t what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about.

— Dale Carnegie

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.

— Mark Twain

Character is like a tree and reputation like its shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing.

— Abraham Lincoln

The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; the pessimist fears this is true.

— James Branch Cabell

Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.

— Antoine de Saint Exupery

Success is getting what you want. Happiness is liking what you get.

— H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

— Jerry Seinfeld

Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.

— Napoleon Bonaparte

A ship in port is safe, but that’s not what ships are built for.

— Grace Murray Hopper

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.

— Anais Nin

We are inclined to believe those whom we do not know because they have never deceived us.

— Samuel Johnson

Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it.

— Mark Twain

Get pleasure out of life... as much as you can. Nobody ever died from pleasure.

— Sol Hurok

It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.

— Abraham Lincoln

A closed mind is like a closed book; just a block of wood.

— Chinese Proverb

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

— Calvin and Hobbes

I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.

— Bill Cosby

No! Try Not - Do, or Do Not; There is no Try...

— Yoda, The Empire Strikes Back

Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them... well, I have others.

— Groucho Marx

We’re not completely helpless, Barbara. I’ve been reading that book and there’s a word for people in our situation: ghosts.

— Adam (Alec Baldwin), Beetlejuice (1988)

The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men, but that men will begin to think like computers.

— J.H. Sydney Harris

Do not be too moral. You may cheat yourself out of much life. Aim above morality. Be not simply good; be good for something.

— Henry David Thoreau

When one door closes, another opens. But we often look so regretfully upon the closed door that we don’t see the one that has opened for us.

— Alexander Graham Bell

Insane people are always sure that they are fine. It is only the sane people who are willing to admit that they are crazy.

— Nora Ephron

There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don’t believe this to be a coincidence.

— Jeremy S. Anderson

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.

— Albert Einstein

Most people would rather be certain they’re miserable, than risk being happy.

— Robert Anthony

The only abnormality is the incapacity to love.

— Anais Nin

Efficiency is intelligent laziness.

— David Dunham

Don’t worry about people stealing an idea. If it’s original, you will have to ram it down their throats.

— Howard Aiken

Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.

— Mark Twain

What a peculiar privilege has this little agitation of the brain which we call thought.

— David Hume

To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.

— Jack Anderson

Fool-proof implies a finite number of fools.

— Anon

The reward for a job well done is more work.

— Anon

Those who stand for nothing fall for anything.

— Alexander Hamilton

Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back in the same box.

— Italian Proverb

Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home.

— Bill Cosby

To achieve the impossible dream, try going to sleep.

— Joan Klempner

Statistics are like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive but what they conceal is vital.

— Aaron Levenstein

A man would do nothing, if he waited until he could do it so well that no one at all would find fault with what he has done.

— Cardinal Newman

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.

— Martin Luther King, Jr.

It’s hard to say when one generation ends and the next begins; but it’s somewhere around nine or ten at night.

— Charles Ruffing, in Family Weekly

Men come and go, they lose their hair, their fortunes, but diamonds stay hard forever.

— Mac on JAG